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What Do You Think Of This Book Synopsis?

Kittywampus
Kittywampus
I’m working on revising my fantasy novel, The Moon’s Accomplice, into a big ol’ sprawling fantasy trilogy. This is a rough stab at Book One, and I would love any feedback on what’s missing or needs tweaking. One of the things I’ve been doing is reading other big ol’ sprawling fantasy novels: the Robert Jordan/Brandon Sanderson Wheel of Time series, George R. R. Martin’s Game of Thrones, Pat Rothfuss’s The Name of the Wind and The Wise Man’s Fear, David Edding’s Belgariad and Robin Hobb’s work. I’m trying to figure out what makes for a successful series. What other series would you suggest looking at? (Note that I have read the LotR a bajillion times.)

Things that seem common to all of them:

  • Engaging, interesting characters, and plenty of time in their heads
  • Landscapes and marvels, plenty of “eyeball kicks
  • Ups and downs, characters enduring vicissitudes and working to do their best in spite of them


Book One begins as Shyra, a Dryad, is brought to the city of Tabat in chains, aboard a steamboat. She doesn’t know why she and a handful of her sisters have been brought to the seaport, but she senses that it’s to no good. They’re already enslaved by a social system where humans rule, asserting their Gods-given right over animals and Beasts, the category into which all intelligent magical creatures like Dryads are relegated.

At the same time far to the north on what the Tabatians consider the rough frontier, young Teo is having similar forebodings ““ his sister is very ill and no one will meet his eyes when speaking of the cure. Teo’s already been rejected by the village because he’s failed to exhibit the shapeshifting powers most of them possess. Finally he discovers that he’s been promised to the Temples of the Moon in Tabat as an acolyte/indentured servant if his sister recovers.

Bella Kanto, premier Gladiator of Tabat, finds herself confronted by a disturbing omen in the form of a lobotomized young Centaur that’s been sold to the Brides of Steel, Tabat’s all-female gladiatorial academy. She goes to see her cousin, Leonoa, a prominent Tabatian artist, only to find Leonoa embroiled in a scandalous love affair. Leonoa shrugs aside conversation, struggling to finish up a few last canvases for a show opening in a few days.

Imprisoned in the Duke’s menagerie, Shyra learns that she and the other Dryads are meant to root and become trees, which will be harvested and fed to the great engine that fuels many of Tabat’s technologies, such as the great Waterfall below the Duke’s castle, the mechanized gondola system that moves the inhabitants from one city terrace to another, and the street lights that show any sign of sorcery or shapeshifter activity on the main streets.

Meanwhile, Teo contemplates fleeing the village. He starts out to do so, only to encounter the Moon priest, Nero, to whom he’s been promised on the road. He and Nero embark on the journey and the stern but sympathetic priest tries to instruct him on the matters he’ll need to know to survive life in the Temple. When Nero breaks his leg, progress is slowed, and even more so when he falls prey to a parasitic fairy in the wilderness. When they arrive at a river town, Nero puts Teo aboard a trade boat, the Eloquent Swan, and entrusts the pilot Archis with getting Teo to the city.

Shyra’s escape is more successful. She manages to slip out of the menagerie and make her way outside Tabat, although she is pursued by the Duke’s Huntress, a relentless and skilled tracker. Nonetheless, Shyra makes her way to the mountains to the northeast of Tabat, where she finds a camp of other escaped Beasts.

When a student of hers from the Brides of Steel is killed in a riot, guilt wracks Bella, particularly since she helped instigate the riot. Political unrest haunts the city, caused by upcoming events: the first election of the Mayor of Tabat, at which point the Duke will reluctantly step down and relinquish his hereditary rule. Bella and the head of the Brides of Steel, Myrila, have a severe falling out. Bella feels she’s been let down by Myrila at a time when she’s facing the pressure of the annual Spring Games. If she assumes the role of Winter and wins, as she has for the past fifteen years, spring will not come to Tabat for another six weeks, impacting trade in a way none of Tabat’s merchants appreciate.

The fireworks of Bella’s victory light the sky the night Teo arrives in Tabat, where he’s entrusted by Archis to Skilto, a merchant-mage handling the Swan’s cargo, more Dryad logs bound for the College of Mages. Skilto lets the boy escape during an accident with one of the logs. Skilto gives the boy’s fate little mind. He’s got his own set of problems, with his father threatening to stop paying his tuition to the College unless Skilto agrees to marry. He’s about to investigate the three candidates presented to him: socialite Lilia Delarose, merchant Marta Lavender, and merchant-historian Ariadne Nittlescent.

Shyra adjusts to life among the escaped Beasts. She’s heartened to hear that they have a plan to free Tabat’s Beasts. They will first infiltrate the city, disguised as the members of the Circus of the Autumn Moon, one of many entertainment troupes drawn to Tabat by the political campaigns and the amount of money being spent on courting political favor. She meets the man who will oversee the Moon, sinister and secretive Murga, whose origins are unknown.

Resolute to avoid the semi-enslavement of Temple life and make his own fate in Tabat, Teo wanders the streets and narrowly escapes being press-ganged. He adapts to life on the streets, begging and scavenging food where he can. He is befriended by a young artist, but disaster follows when his shapeshifting powers unexpectedly manifest. Teo finds himself emperiled by agents of the Duke intent on finding sorcerers and shapeshifters in the city and takes refuge in the Autumn Moon.

A troubled Bella tries to divert herself by taking her friend and sometimes lover Ariadne Nittlescent to the opening of Leonoa’s art show. Skilto and Marta arrive as well, only to find the place the site of a riot incited by the political nature of Leonoa’s paintings, which depict Beasts assuming human roles. Aided by two other gladiators, Bella holds the crowd back long enough to let Leonoa and the other attendees escape.

Skilto’s tried two candidates and found them lacking, although he’s drawn into friendship with Marta Lavender’s father Milosh. When he meets Ariadne at a party, he realizes that she’s the one he’s interested in. Ariadne pays him little mind. She’s too busy thinking about the decision her mother Emilee has made to push Ariadne into political office. Ariadne’s occupied enough with the history of Tabat she’s writing and, unbeknownst to her mother, running a lucrative publishing house specializing in lurid accounts of Bella’s adventures. She’s working on a new book as well, Archis’ account of life on a frontier boat.

Bella agrees to a favor for a lover she picked up at the gallery, only to find herself faced with charges of smuggling deadly sorcerous ingredients. The Duke informs her that he’s sending her with an expedition to the frontier at the end of Book One. Bella’s disgrace leads to a rift between Skilto and Ariadne, deepened when Skilto discovers Archis is courting her as well. Murga hints that he knows Teo’s secret, but Teo avoids any direct discussion of it as he fights to fit in with daily circus life.

13 Responses

  1. First off, I adore you and your writing.

    Secondly, I think there might be two other commonalities in the series you mentioned:

    -Looming threat

    Which makes all characters seem connected, no matter how far apart they are or how different their actions may be. Even if they are on the side of the Looming Threat, it gives them a niche to fall into in the narrative.

    -Visceral Magic System

    That gives people a sensation of what it might be like to actually “Do” Magic so it doesn’t seem like such an alien experience.

    There are plenty of great works without those things, but I just thought I’d mention them since they did seem integral to the way the works mentioned operated.

    1. Looming threat is a good one. In reworking this, I’ve been trying to figure out how to keep things escalating over the course of the three books.

      Absolutely on the magic system. I think that’s where gamer backgrounds come in handy, heh.

  2. Hm…something world-changing had better occur. “3000 pages and no cataclysm? I was ripped off!!!”

    I like Carol Berg’s Flesh and Spirit/Blood and Bone, Daniel Abraham’s Long Price Quartet, and am a complete Tad Williams sucker.

    1. I -love- Carol Berg’s books, I need to go back and reread those for sure. I also like the Abraham books. I found the Williams a little long and slow-paced.

  3. First, I think your writing and abilities would lend itself tremendously well to a fantasy epic, and I think you’d bring tons to the subgenre with your language skills and your heart.

    Oh, and you’ve read Mieville’s New Crobuzon books and VanderMeer’s Ambergris, yeah? I suspect Tabat is nearer to those worlds than the others, as far as diversity and complexity and ‘adultness’, whatever that means.

    So yeah, looming threat, or some societal/planet-wide event that everyone is interacting with, from the very beginning. It’s a bit hard to know if there is that in this synopsis or not. Also, epics often have very disparate characters that are all eventually thrown together and are either enemies or each other’s posse’s. There is such a deliciousness for me, in how that comes to pass. I’m not seeing that here, but I’m a tired tired mama, so I could be missing flashing neon signs. Also, epics have that grandiose-hero thing, which I’m pretty tired of but also use in my own fiction, so there you go.

    Good luck with this project, and I too wanna read it already 🙂

    1. Love the Mieville and the Ambergris for sure. I’m fascinated by the books where the city becomes like a character in and of itself. As for the looming menace, the big big one pops up at the beginning of the second book, so maybe I should fiddle with that order.

  4. Hey, Cat. I’m so glad you’re reworking The Moon’s Accomplice! I like the story arcs you’ve synopsized, but the one thing I’m not seeing is a completed arc in the first book. It seems everyone is heading off to further complications. When reading a Book 1, I find it frustrating if there’s no sense that a major chapter of the story has finished. Perhaps Shyra leads a successful revolt in the city? It looks like Bella has a long arc, which I’d be glad to see, because she’s the “mature” character, the Aragorn of the story, and she resonates with me the most. I’d like to see some characters have their Rebel medal ceremony and laugh at the Wookie before heading off to take on the Empire.

  5. I also liked the Brent Week’s Night Angel series, bought #1 and had to wait on #2 and #3, thought I would die before they came in. If you liked LotR, you will LOVE Dennis L. McKiernan’s Mithgar series! Any series that I liked a lot always had the characters written out so they could almost step from my mind (don’t let the Jr. fool you, am 54 years old!). And of course, the ever-present disaster looming over their heads…
    I have also read most of what you had down, and a lot more besides (am an avid reader…) over the past 40 years or so. I also collect books…
    Any writer who can get themselves published has my utmost respect! Congrats to you, and I will have to watch for your books. best, Ken

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Acquainted With the Night

Rain sleets down like multicolored metal needles to splatter against the chill, neon-lit street’s surface. The light gutters across the wet surface of his black plastic rain poncho, picking out abstract tattoos.

Somewhere in the night, he knows there is darkness brewing.

The mask fits loosely on his face under the rain poncho’s shroud. Some people look at him as they go past in the rain, but their eyes skitter away, seeing him faceless in the dark.

At one point the mask was crimson, and golden wind vortexes, bright as daylight, rode his face on either side, framing his power, his strength.

Far away he hears a shout. He pauses to listen, but it does not come again, and he is not sure of the direction. Cars hiss past in a spray of sparkling, heavy, wet mist, and touch the surface of his jacket with beaded jewels.

He tugs at his dark grey face covering, pulling it into place. Rain has seeped in through the eyeholes and walks along his face like the memory of tears.

Is he crying or is it the rain? The question seems overwrought, and he feels himself slipping into one of those dark, cinematic moods, where he sees everything from the outside. It’s starting again, the loop of film that is his life.

#
Scene 1: The Origin

He was an ordinary boy in an extraordinary place, he tells himself. Working in Miracle Labs, he was a go-fer, fetching coffee and sandwiches for the scientists in their bright white lab coats. Everyone was so pleasant, so marvelously cheerful! He whistled on his way to work every morning.

As time passed, though, he became aware of undercurrents. Doctor Octo hated Doctor Sept, and they both vied for the attention of receptionist Wye. Who was worth vying for, he admitted to himself, but he knew that he, pimple-faced and adolescent gangly, wouldn’t have a chance with her. Most of the scientific in-fighting, though, had to do with who published what where. Most of them worked hard at publishing, and conducted their research with scrupulous but eager abandon.

It was easy for someone like himself to pick up some extra cash acting as a guinea pig. It paid well, and his mother.s birthday was coming up. Sept was working on a military project, augmented strength, while Octo was working on a similar project, increased speed.

Tuesdays and Thursdays he sat in Sept’s lab, squeezing grip-meters, while on Mondays and Wednesdays, he used a mouse to click colored shapes on a computer screen. He swore to both of them that no one else was interfering with his physical structure, and they both were horrified but intrigued when their experiments collided, geometrically increasing both strength and speed as though cross-multiplying.

Military types swarmed the labs, smoking jovial cigars while the scientists ran him through test after test with suppressed jubilation, which faded into pretense as every other test subject underwent both treatments to find themselves no stronger or faster than before.

He was their golden boy at first, and even Wye unbent in his direction, admitting she wouldn’t mind a cup of coffee, which led to one thing, then another, then him offering in-home demos of what it was like to bang a genuine superhuman. But more test subjects came and went in failed succession. The doctors became less fond of him as the military soured.

He lost his job at the laboratory, although no one ever really gave him a straight answer as to why.

So he became a superhero, which seemed like a viable option at the time.

#
Part 2: The Career
He got an agent who he.d seen on early morning TV, representative to a group known as the Weather Team. He took the name Captain Hurricane, superspeed and strength qualifying him, he figured.

It was never clear how many superheroes Alan Mix had in his stable. Although his Variety piece when Captain Hurricane joined him said seven, two of those, Ebon Lightning and el Invierno, were sometimes there, sometimes not, due to other gigs with the world of superhero wrestling.

They offered to cut their fellow heroes in on the deal.

“Sweet money and not that hard,” Ebon Lighting urged three of the others, Sunshine Princess, Tsu-nami, and Captain Hurricane. Sunshine Princess did try it, as he recalled, but did not do well in a match against the Hunktress.

Women liked him. What.s not to like about strength and charisma? They liked his gee-whillikers good looks.

He was a little bit in love with Sunshine Princess at one point when he was depressed, but the woman that he would go to his grave loving was another of the Weather Team, Waterlily Elegance, an enormous-haired alien, cerulean-eyed with pumpkin-colored skin from beyond Betelgeuse.

She did not return the affection, though. The mate waiting for her, after she had spent a year in their world, was an enormous purple flower, forever stationary, who floated on a lake of violet emulsion on her home planet.

When she returned home to engage in the mating ritual that would lead to her explosion in a rain of seeds, he spent three nights running in a bar with Sunshine Princess. Each night they staggered home to his apartment and made clumsy love in his unwashed bed. On the third morning he woke up to find her making eggs and coffee in the tiny kitchen.

He drank the coffee in a sullen silence which ate away like acid at her happiness, making it more and more brittle as she moved around cleaning the small space, wiping at the counters with a lemon colored sponge.

“Sit down, for the love of God,” he finally snarled, and she sat, pouring herself coffee and sweetening it with lavish spoonfuls.

“Is everything okay, babydoll?” she cooed, and he could tell she was latching on, sinking in the hooks that would drag him into married life and an eternity of lemon sponges.

“I’m not your babydoll,” he told her startled face. “Not your gumdrop, not your honeybunch, not anything. You were convenient, that’s all, Eleanor.”

She went white as she stood, swaying, and then stiffened herself and marched out to collect her things. She wrapped the yellow cape around herself, sodden still from the previous night’s rain and clinging in damp folds to her skin. He caught a glimpse of her eyes, which were enormous and bruised dark.

That night he patrolled Central Park, and beat three muggers so savagely that they could not walk.

#
Part 3: The Announcement
Three months later when she came to see him about the pregnancy, he already had felt it in his heart. He pushed money in her hand and then pushed her away, physically, a hard shove that sent her sprawling. He turned his back and walked away.

He’d gotten a photogram that morning from Waterlily Elegance. She stood by the shore of the violet lake, one slender hand cupped around her swelling body, ripe with the offspring that would kill her. He wondered what it would look like . would the seeds explode outward, scattering her flesh, leaving scraps of squash color to dry and brittle on the ground? He asked around, asked Silver Spring, the other alien on the Weather Team, but Spring ignored him in a way that screamed impoliteness. Realizing he was violating some taboo, he dropped the subject with reluctant haste.

#
Part 4: The Arrival
He met his daughter first when she was four, hair like cotton-candy floss, colored with pale light. She had inherited powers from both of them, although he could sense she would never be as strong, as fast, as him. From her mother, she had taken the trick of fostering light beneath her skin, letting it go in pulsations of brightness. He called her his Firefly.

He took her every Saturday: to the zoo, to the harbor, to the botanical gardens, to the sculpture garden, to the play ground, to the grocery store, to the laundromat.

They had a year of such meetings before she vanished.

Someone took her out the window, the thirteenth story window that she looked out of each night, her small luminous moon face pressed up against the clear surface. They melted through the glass as though it was water and abducted her in silence.

He nearly died when the police showed him the film, which they said was selling well in underground circles. Although she wore a mask, he recognized the flashes of light that trembled on her naked skin. The men with her wore masks too. They said it was a snuff film, and would not show him more than the moment he needed to identify her. The corpse was never found.

He never found the men either, though he has spent a decade looking. Princess Sunshine committed suicide, and most of the Weather Team is gone. He had to leave it after three years and the fourth scandal of a criminal killed in the course of apprehension. In another decade one of Waterlily Elegance’s children might come back to this planet and perhaps join a new superhero group. He knew that twenty two had survived her death. Their names blended together for him: Casual Horizon, Immaculate Bliss, Serenity of Spite…

Sometimes he wrote to her mate and received in return graceful thought-grams, blended nuances of mental energy and sensation that conveyed regret and well wishes and never spoke of her.

#
And now, the loop complete for another hour, he steps forward again into the darkness. The mask he wears is a duplicate of one from the film . he has no wish to explore why he chose it.

But every night it’s the same, his mask looming down over the fallen form of the mugger, the purse snatcher, the rapist, the suspected harasser, the suspicious stranger out late at night as he kicks and slaps at them, superhuman strength making bruises bloom like light flashes on their skin. Tonight, jewels of light will glitter on their unturned, blank face, and he will feel the blood hot within himself, boiling hot and mammal, unlike the rain.s cool and vegetative touch.

(This story originally appeared in the online publication, FERAL FICTION, in 2004.)

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