I have never been a good swimmer. It’s quite possible I never will be. When I was a kid, my parents kept enrolling me in swimming lessons, and I kept being a terrible swimmer who refused to put my head under water. Part of it was that I’d learned by then that if I got water in my ears, an ear infection wouldn’t be far behind, so every lesson was a silent battle to avoid putting my head underwater. It wasn’t till high school, when several friends decided I would learn to swim (bless you, Ann, Ann, Anne, and Maureen), that I actually got to the point where I could float long enough to survive a (fairly brief) period if I ever fell off a boat. Couple that with an illness that made me extremely self-conscious in a swimsuit for a long time, and you can see why I just don’t get in the water very much.
So here we are in Costa Rica, with a swimming pool right outside our balcony, and a temperature that makes that pool pretty darn inviting. So I got in and splashed around, and finally decided to do a little swimming. And you know what — I liked it. I liked it a lot. And found myself going back repeatedly. Right now I’m going to finsih up this post and then go do it some more.
It took a while to get over the panicked feeling that I was falling forward, that the water wouldn’t hold me up. I kept insisting on starting on the deeper end and swimming towards the shallower, because that way if I put a foot down, I’d be able to hit the bottom. But with every time I made it all the way, it got easier. I started trusting the water (and myself) more.
I’m not claiming I’m going to become a good swimmer anytime soon, or that I’m ever going to like getting water up my nose. But I’m better at it, and certainly more confident about it. And I’ve found something that I like doing, and that I will be trying to incorporate more in my life.
And that — as with so many things in life — applies to writing. Those first attempts to do something new and scary may well be awkward and uncomfortable. In fact, they probably will. Because that’s how we learn. It’s very hard to get good at something without being pretty bad at it at first. And in doing these things, you learn to trust the universe a little more. Which I see as a pretty good thing.
So it’s a Monday morning. Here’s my challenge for you. By Friday, go write or do something that scares you. And come back and tell me what you did.
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Cat, my father was a swim coach. He loved coaching swim teams. I wasn’t good enough to be on his team. I swam “like a rock” according to my father. When I was 12 or 13 I got his permission to participate in a swim-a-thon fundraiser. The question wasn’t could I swim, I’d had lessons and even though I was a terrible swimmer I loved swimming. The question, in my case, was could I finish what I started. I had a terrible completion rate as a child.
The swim-a-thon challenge was 200 laps or 2 hours swimming, whichever came first. It was a huge deal for me to get sponsors, practice laps, and then get up early on the day of the event. Dad’s swimmers had morning practice and the. The swim-a-thon began. Those kids cranked out their 200 laps in no time; keep in mind that they’d already been swimming for an hour or so!
I swam for 2 hours, there were periods where I was simply on my back kicking, but I was moving the entire time. The other swimmers, and Dad, paced the pool with me calling out encouragement.
As we were walking home, my father rubbed my head, told me he was proud of me, and walked me home with his arm over my shoulders. It was, and is, one of the most amazing experiences of my life. It stills moves me to tears when I remember it. I manage 133 laps in my 2 hour swim.
So, I take up your challenge in the same way. Thanks! You’ll be hearing from me.
I was thinking about this
post since you wrote it, particularly the “So it’s a Monday morning.
Here’s my challenge for you. By Friday, go write or do something that
scares you. And come back and tell me what you did.”
I’m trying to run a bit (Zombies Run, yay), and I decided to do it in public yesterday, rather than on the treadmill. Which is fairly scary, mostly on a “but other people will see me! and assume I am insecure because I am exercising and not good at it! and spot me needing to slow down!” level. But I did it!
And just as I was finishing up, and heading back home, I jogged past someone out walking a couple of dogs, and the big one bit me. Not badly! It was a bleedings-scrapes-and-Polysporin kind of thing, not a hospital thing. But it was unnerving.
Funny thing is, I do feel better, and more comfortable with the idea of doing it again. In the back of my brain, there is a dialogue playing that runs “But other people will see me! and spot me needing to slow down! and–” “Oh SERIOUSLY? I got bitten by a German Shepherd last time and now it’s about people will LOOK at me? Moving on.”
Yikes! But awesome that it short-circuited that “people will see me!” loop.
That’s something I’m trying to conquer in the pool right now, because while I’m feeling more comfortable in the water, there’s also a piece of my head insisting that every time I do it, people are standing on their balconies watching the ungainly gringa trying to swim.
Want access to a lively community of writers and readers, free writing classes, co-working sessions, special speakers, weekly writing games, random pictures and MORE for as little as $2? Check out Cat’s Patreon campaign.
"(On the writing F&SF workshop) Wanted to crow and say thanks: the first story I wrote after taking your class was my very first sale. Coincidence? nah….thanks so much."
~K. Richardson
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Interviewed by Genevieve Valentine
In 2009, Genevieve Valentine did this interview for the press kit included with my collection. I’ve posted it here for posterity.
Genevieve Valentine: Though your stories take place in different worlds and range from the comic to the tragic, a common theme is the intrusion of the fantastic into the everyday (for certain values of “everyday”); do you find it more satisfying, as a reader, when there is conflict between worlds, or cooperation?
Cat Rambo: Well – story inevitably comes about as a result of conflict. Where there is only cooperation, as nice as it sounds, stories become a lot subtler and dreamier and sometimes easy to miss.
To me one of the inevitable things about the intrusion of the fantastic is that it makes us rethink the everyday in a way that may provoke a similar conflict in our souls. The very best stories sock us in the gut and leave us gasping with realization that we almost missed a cathartic moment.
GV: The workshopping process seems close to your heart; in what ways do you feel it’s shaped you as a writer and as a reader? What is your advice for writers who want to find, our found, a writers’ group?
CR: Curiously, I’ve found myself listening less and less to the line by line comments and more to the broad-scale, big-picture level stuff. If I can infuriate my friend Derek Zumsteg, I know I’ve gone far.
It’s possible to get too carried away with workshopping, to end up pulled in too many directions by too many voices. As far as founding a group goes – make sure everyone is at a comparable level, that people communicate with trust and respect, and that you establish the ground rules early on.
GV: Your stories are steeped in folklore, but your retellings seem built on the barest bones of the original tale. What advice would you give for writers who want to make an old fairy tale new again?
CR: When I was a kid, I was working with a somewhat limited library. I ran out of fiction to read, in fact, and they wouldn’t let kids 13 or below check out books from the adult stacks. So I spent a few months one summer working my way through the fairy tale and folklore section, which is where all the bones of fairytales that come glimmering through in my stories, such as “Heart in a Box” or “A Key Decides Its Destiny”, grow from.
It’s hard to do anything new with fairytales anymore because the top layer has been mined so thoroughly. If I’d seen the wealth of mermaid stories that I’ve seen since taking on reading for Fantasy Magazine, I don’t know that I would have been arrogant enough to try a new take on the Little Mermaid or Dick Wellington’s Cat (The Dead Girl’s Wedding March).
GV: What was the particular fact or piece of trivia that determined your course in writing “The Towering Monarch of His Race”?
CR: I was writing an encyclopedia entry on the acquisition of Jumbo the elephant by P.T. Barnum and the story’s details were too good not to go into a story. They are, for the most part, true — Jumbo did die as a result of a collision with a train and it’s true that when Barnum was told that Jumbo had laid down and refused to board the ship to America, he said every day the elephant spent lying down was priceless in terms of publicity. The elephant did refuse to go aboard until his keeper coaxed him onto it, and all of England mourned the elephant’s departure.
GV: Animals make frequent appearances in your stories; what are the challenges of writing around (and sometimes, writing as) an animal?
CR: Well, I have never found this quite as radical an act as some readers seem to have thought it. I know I caught some flak about writing from an elephant’s pov part of the time in The Towering Monarch of His Race, but I didn’t think it too over the top. I researched it and I spent time thinking about what an elephant would notice.
GV: So, what’s your beef with eagles?
CR: I like eagles! I see both golden and bald eagles almost every morning when I go to get my coffee – we have a tree down near the water that they’re nesting in.
GV: What’s something you feel people overlook in your writing?
CR: The muscular nature of my sentences, which I try to pare down as much as possible.
GV: What about your writing makes you roll your eyes sometimes?
CR: Often I get carried away with the intense beauty of my prose.
GV: As an [Overlord for Armageddon, you came to the table well aware of the potential and the peril of an online identity. What online platforms have been of most benefit to you as a writer? What should new writers avoid?
CR: I was, and still am, an Overlord for Armageddon, which is a game I’ve worked with for almost two decades now. I have been a public figure in the game for most of that time, and find being a writer/editor not much different. People are generally kind and patient if you are patient and kind with them, but you should also not be a pushover.
Computers are TERRIBLE TIME SUCKS but sort of unavoidable. Avoid committing too much of your time to an online presence – it does you no good if you don’t have some actual writing to sell.
GV: You’re doing a DIY promotional tour for Eyes Like”¦. In an age where publishing is getting scaled back, writers are becoming their own best publicists. What have you discovered about self-promotion while preparing for this tour? What are you looking forward to? What’s the number one mistake you’re afraid of making?
CR: That it’s incredibly hard, tedious work. I’ve been going through my mail compiling a list of reviewers and bloggers, for example, that I want to make sure get an ARC (advance reading copy of the book). I’m preparing for a 31 day virtual blog tour, as well as a month on the road where I’ll be reading at the KGB bar in NYC as well as venues in Philadelphia, Indiana, Kansas, Colorado, Salt Lake City, and Seattle.
In this I’ve been happy to have my retired mother compiling a lot of the info as well as my incredibly talented friend Kris doing a lot of the graphic work.
I am worried about pushing too hard with this book and alienating people, but at the same time, I’m learning that unless you ask, you can’t find out, sometimes.
GV: The most frustrating part of the writing process is _________.
CR: The slowness. I can’t stand markets that take 6+ months to reply. I think that’s RIDICULOUS. At Fantasy we turn stuff around within a week tops, and that’s processing 400-500 fiction pieces a month. :p
GV: This can be solved by _________ and liberal applications of _________.
Today’s wordcount:4006 (teaching day)
Current Hearts of Tabat wordcount: 92212
Total word count for the week: 17073
Total word count for this retreat: 17073
Worked on Hearts of Tabat, story “Days of Sweetness, Days of Want”
Time spent on SFWA email, discussion boards, other stuff: 30 minutes
Other stuff: Taught Character Building class, did some e-mailings
Steps: 6351
From today’s, part of Hearts of Tabat
The Red Moon’s Sugar Tea House had a flimsy and unfinished look to it “” one door had a (0 of tiles half laid around it, ending at a shoulder-high mark where either tiles or energy had given out. The tables were all-of-a-kind but second-hand, marked with stripes and weather stresses, but the chairs were a mismatched conglomeration that could, upon study, be sorted into four groups: a set once marked with a noble signet, all chiseled away; a few basket-woven chairs, looking flimsy but more comfortable than the rest; a set of plain chairs, crude in construction and made of pine planking, and one rocking chair, set in the corner. The floor underfoot was unfinished planking, marked with spills and splotches and a winter’s worth of grime in the grooves between the planking. The narrow windows were half-shuttered, their lower reaches clad in gray slats, while their naked uppers admitted winter’s chill light.
A fat-bellied stove sat cold in the back of the room, while chal steamed in a vast samovar/vat near the till. A skinny boy sat there, reading a penny-wide and paying no attention to the room whatsoever.
Sebastiano paid the boy a couple of copper skiffs and received a ceramic mug. The samovar smelled as though it had not been cleaned in a while, but the chal was hot and surprisingly peppery. Sebastiano chose not to contemplate what the spice might be masking. He found a basket-woven chair with a low table beside it that was cleaner than the rest of them and sank down into it with a sigh. It creaked and murmured under his weight but held.
No one else was in the tea house, which was not a good sign. It had the feeling of a stage set, of something erected more for show than for purpose, and it made his encounter in the flower shop seem all the odder, as though he’d been catapulted into the pages of a penny-wide, something lurid and full of spies and secret words.
He sighed and slouched back a little in the chair, sipping at his mug. Was that the sort of story he had wanted for his life? He would prefer a love story, something simple and not too complicated, ending up happily in a way that promised for a good life, with love and family and friendship and at least moderate wealth.
That was, he thought, not the story he had told himself ten years ago, when he had first come to the College of Mages. That had been a younger man’s story, one of devoting himself to his craft, discovering things that no one had ever learned before, adding to the store of Human knowledge. That had been a worthy enough ambition but he was no longer sure that was what he wanted.
Surely this was not the normal state. Surely people usually knew what it was that they wanted of life “” everyone at the college of mages seemed to, at least.
Shadows flickered past the door as passersby went down the street. The boy turned a page and kept reading. His lips moved a little as he read, sounding out words.
Sebastiano felt dissatisfied, at odds with himself. Thoughts of the oread still rankled at him. Why had she thought he would do her harm? The thought came to him that she wished him harm, and that was why she had feared it from him, but he discarded it. Oreads were simple creatures, and no danger to Humans.
5 Responses
Cat, my father was a swim coach. He loved coaching swim teams. I wasn’t good enough to be on his team. I swam “like a rock” according to my father. When I was 12 or 13 I got his permission to participate in a swim-a-thon fundraiser. The question wasn’t could I swim, I’d had lessons and even though I was a terrible swimmer I loved swimming. The question, in my case, was could I finish what I started. I had a terrible completion rate as a child.
The swim-a-thon challenge was 200 laps or 2 hours swimming, whichever came first. It was a huge deal for me to get sponsors, practice laps, and then get up early on the day of the event. Dad’s swimmers had morning practice and the. The swim-a-thon began. Those kids cranked out their 200 laps in no time; keep in mind that they’d already been swimming for an hour or so!
I swam for 2 hours, there were periods where I was simply on my back kicking, but I was moving the entire time. The other swimmers, and Dad, paced the pool with me calling out encouragement.
As we were walking home, my father rubbed my head, told me he was proud of me, and walked me home with his arm over my shoulders. It was, and is, one of the most amazing experiences of my life. It stills moves me to tears when I remember it. I manage 133 laps in my 2 hour swim.
So, I take up your challenge in the same way. Thanks! You’ll be hearing from me.
What an awesome story! Thank you for sharing that.
So. Funny story. (I swear it’s funny to me!)
I was thinking about this
post since you wrote it, particularly the “So it’s a Monday morning.
Here’s my challenge for you. By Friday, go write or do something that
scares you. And come back and tell me what you did.”
I’m trying to run a bit (Zombies Run, yay), and I decided to do it in public yesterday, rather than on the treadmill. Which is fairly scary, mostly on a “but other people will see me! and assume I am insecure because I am exercising and not good at it! and spot me needing to slow down!” level. But I did it!
And just as I was finishing up, and heading back home, I jogged past someone out walking a couple of dogs, and the big one bit me. Not badly! It was a bleedings-scrapes-and-Polysporin kind of thing, not a hospital thing. But it was unnerving.
Funny thing is, I do feel better, and more comfortable with the idea of doing it again. In the back of my brain, there is a dialogue playing that runs “But other people will see me! and spot me needing to slow down! and–” “Oh SERIOUSLY? I got bitten by a German Shepherd last time and now it’s about people will LOOK at me? Moving on.”
Moving on. 🙂
Yikes! But awesome that it short-circuited that “people will see me!” loop.
That’s something I’m trying to conquer in the pool right now, because while I’m feeling more comfortable in the water, there’s also a piece of my head insisting that every time I do it, people are standing on their balconies watching the ungainly gringa trying to swim.
I do not recommend pikes (I was going to say piranhas, but really, that overstates the parallel). 🙂
At the same time, I know the feeling. I hope it’s getting better.