Guest Post: Robyn Bennis Provides a Debut Author's Guide to Social Anxiety

So, love’s great, right? All types. It’s a fascinating quirk of brain chemistry that leaves us caring about each other so much we’ll sacrifice resources and fight against oppression for someone else’s wellbeing. Spending time with people you love is, to my mind, what life is all about. I just want to preface this with that little disclaimer, so nobody feels like I’m attacking love or romance.

Let’s talk about how we often centralize romance in fiction, how friendships get short shrift, and how the romance that we get is usually pretty one dimensional. First, let me own a bias. I’m asexual and aromantic. If you’re not familiar, that means I don’t experience sexual or romantic attraction. Platonic love is my everything. So, romance and sex don’t usually top the list of priorities for me in any storytelling context. That said, from a distance, I’m all for it. Unfortunately, fiction has gotten into some bad habits when it comes to dealing with friendships and romantic relationships.

Friendships are rarely given the focus they deserve. They are one of the most common types of relationships people have in their lives, and yet rarely do they get any nuance. In most fiction, friends are just there. They’re taken for granted. A friend is a person you talk to about your dating angst. It’s not uncommon in a lot of fiction for the entirety of two people’s platonic relationship to consist of them talking about their paramours. I’m not saying friends don’t do that with each other, but is that everything you do with your friends? In reality, friendships have just as much drama and excitement as romantic relationships. There is a moment when two people become friends, and it’s an exciting and fraught moment filled with insecurity, hope, and intrigue. There are events that cause those relationships to deepen, and tragically sometimes friendships end, and those endings can be heartbreaking.

Meanwhile the general lack of focus on platonic connection undercuts romantic relationships. Healthy romantic relationships have a platonic component. The old cliché is two people don’t get along, but it secretly means they like each other. In every longstanding romantic relationship I’ve ever encountered, the people involved liked one another. They had common interests. Two people have to be something when they’re not in the throes of sexual ecstasy or performing grand romantic gestures. Most of us are going to spend the lion’s share of our time together in sweatpants farting into the couch cushions, a set of circumstances that is far from the pinnacle of grand romance.

Sometime when you’re reading a romance novel, a story with romantic subplot, or watching a movie or television show that falls into the trope “two good looking people alone in a room: they’ve got to get together,” ask yourself, “Do these two actually have anything in common?” To be clear, I’m not saying everything in common. Great friendships are often defined by the differences between people, but amidst the differences there have to be points of commonality.

So, why does this happen? The honest answer: it’s easy tension. Two good looking people, they don’t get along, but they’re so good looking. How could they not be interested in each other? It’s plausible they would date, then their totally incompatible personalities give writers a deep well of conflict and drama to draw from. And frankly, that’s okay. Who among us hasn’t leaned into a trope or two? Let those who have no ink on their fingers throw the first pen. However, it does become a problem when it’s done so ubiquitously that it starts to influence people’s conception of real-world relationships.

Here’s the thing: fiction matters. It has real-world implications. Fiction without diversity normalizes a segregated world. Fiction with diversity challenges the status quo. Fiction rife with fundamentally incompatible romantic relationships makes fraught, tense, and incompatible romantic relationships seem normal. Meanwhile, when we treat friendships like they’re set dressing, we end up with a society where nobody puts the time and effort into maintaining friendships that they deserve.

So, what’s to be done? Well, next time you’re writing a romantic relationship, ask yourself, “What do these two do when they’re just hanging out?” In the space between grand romantic gestures and passionate lovemaking, who are they to each other? Do they like the same movies? Maybe they both like to cook. Maybe they’re big board game nerds. That doesn’t mean you can’t have the grand romantic gestures and the passionate lovemaking; just add the platonic love as well.

Next time you’re writing a friendship, ask yourself, “What holds these two together as friends?” There must have been moments in the past when they could have drifted apart. Why didn’t they? What do they see in each other that the myriad other people they’ve met in their lives didn’t quite appreciate? Who is this friend to your protagonist besides a useful literary device to move the plot along or an excuse to explicitly state some romantic subtext?

I’m not trying to lay all the problems of the world at fiction’s feet. There are a lot of forces in our society that diminish the significance of friendship and promote the idea that every problem in life can be solved by getting a date. But all too often, fiction isn’t helping. It’s not that hard to add that extra bit of nuance to relationships. There are good stories to be told that center friendships, even if they include romance. Superficial romantic relationships, with drama built on cheap interpersonal tension, are lazy. Spend a few moments thinking about your best friend. Think about how they make you feel. I’ll bet it’s a love story for the ages.

BIO: Vincent Scott is a comedy science fiction writer and green tea… well, addict is a strong word, let’s say enthusiast. His new novel The Hereafter Bytes is being launched via Kickstarter to raise funds for a full release later in 2020. The campaign runs from March 11th to April 1st, 2020 and can be found here.

You can connect with Vincent at twitter.com/writeitowldown.

If you’re an author or other fantasy and science fiction creative, and want to do a guest blog post, please check out the guest blog post guidelines. Or if you’re looking for community from other F&SF writers, sign up for the Rambo Academy for Wayward Writers Critclub!

As a writer, it’s normal to want to share stories about the diverse and interesting world around you. That can be difficult if you have to write a character with a completely different background and life experience than you. The important thing is to stay away from writing a stereotype or a character that’s unbelievable. To help you, this article will share five helpful suggestions to create excellent and multi-layered LGBT characters.

1. Don’t be stereotypical

In today’s world, producers and audiences alike want to see diversity in books, movies, and TV shows. But creating a stereotypical LGBT character just to fit the demand isn’t good enough. Instead, create a multi-dimensional person with a storyline… and they happen to be gay as well.

According to a writer at Academized and State of Writing, Jamie Lyndham, “a good suggestion is when you’re creating a character, ask yourself if and why they need to be heterosexual or cisgender (identifying with their birth-assigned gender). Think about if you could enhance your story by changing their gender identity or sexuality.”

2. Find a different angle

It can be easy when you’re writing about LGBT characters to develop a dramatic story line like coming out or transitioning. While these issues are important and not to be dismissed lightly, there are a lot of LGBT people in life who are living fun and interesting lives that have nothing to do with their gender or sexuality. It doesn’t always have to be about that.

Think about creating stories for your LGBT characters that are positive, engaging, and not what your audience is expecting. Find a new angle for your story and make your story stand out from others.

3. Research your characters

If you’re not a member of the LGBT community but you want one of your storylines or characters to be specific to this community, you need to do your research. If your storyline concerns a time period before homosexuality was legalized, talk to someone who was around at that time.

This is the best way to make your story, language, and character’s experience ring true for your audience. If you have LGBT friends and colleagues, you might want to talk your ideas through with them to make sure your character is as authentic as any heterosexual character you write.

4. LGBT characters can be in all genres

LGBT people have been around since the beginning of humanity, so you don’t need to only include LGBT characters in modern stories. If you’re writing a period novel, why don’t you consider including an LGBT character, as there are so many great story lines about life before decriminalisation.

Some ideas from Sam Deele, a blogger at Paper Fellows and Australian Help, are for writers to “also write about children with gay parents, or a child that is learning about being transgender. LGBT stories don’t just start when the character become an adult at 18. You can also consider how including an LGBT character could have a positive impact on your audience.”

5. The term trans includes many people

If you’re writing about a trans character, you have to be aware that trans is an umbrella term for many different people, not only someone who was born male but identifies as female and vice versa. Trans actually includes many different people, including those who don’t identify as any given gender, or who are a mix of both, and anything in between.

Don’t fall into any stereotypes here, because writing about trans characters gives you so many new opportunities for different and engaging stories. Like in the first point, think about whether your character needs to be male or female and whether your story could benefit if the character didn’t identify as cisgender.

It’s never too late to ask for feedback, even if you’ve finished the LGBT character or storyline and you want to make sure it’s right. It’s immensely better to make corrections at this stage than to submit it and realize it’s not right afterwards. If you don’t know any LGBT people that can read it for you, look into online groups that promote diversity like Bang2writers who would be happy to help.

About the Author: Ellie Coverdale, a writer and blogger at Essay roo and UK Writings, loves sharing her writing tips and suggestions with her audience. She writes about many topics including education, life as a writer, and lifestyle tips. She also works as a teacher for Boom Essays in her free time.

If you’re an author or other fantasy and science fiction creative, and want to do a guest blog post, please check out the guest blog post guidelines. Or if you’re looking for community from other F&SF writers, sign up for the Rambo Academy for Wayward Writers Critclub!

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