Five Ways
Subscribe to my newsletter and get a free story!
Share this:

From WIP - Queen of the Fireflies

Photo of trees in Leeper Park, South Bend, Indiana. Was fiddling this for a writing retreat I’m doing in September. This is from the beginning.

June, 1976, Indiana

On Indiana summer evenings, the fireflies begin their dance as dusk creeps over the landscape, reducing green to gray and black and brown. Their lights are yellow as sunlight or neon; they blink among the hedges and maneuver a few inches above the tall grass. There are five varieties of fireflies native to the Northern Indiana region. Each signals prospective mates with specific timing, and no four second interval firefly would approach a six second interval one.

On the same summer evenings, the mosquitoes whine, though only the female ones, hovering before landing on unsuspecting arms and ankles, draining as much as they can before either taking off, heavy and bloated with their sanguine plunder, or else are splattered and exploded by their victim when he or she notices not the sting of the needlelike proboscis being inserted, but the tickle of their feet among the fine, downy hair arms.

Other creatures come out later: soft-nosed rabbits and the tiny bats that flitter around lampposts, devouring the night insects swarming there. Possums drag their heavy bodies along, investigating garbage cans and quarreling with the raccoons come to plunder. There are even rats, in some places along the St. Joseph River, water rats that move through the green-brown water, searching among the slimy weeds that coat the bottom. But the fireflies are already there: they have marked the coming of the night, lighting as though protesting the approaching darkness.

Michigan Street crosses down from the state of Michigan, comes through Northern Indiana and splits one of its larger cities, South Bend, like a splayed bird. Corn fields and alfalfa lie further out but here the street slashes the city’s belly, unfolds layers like the dark verge of Notre Dame University, the struggling downtown, the unsavory brew further south of town as you headed down to the smaller towns: Lakeville, Lapaz, Plymouth. Far to the south it reaches Kokomo, later Indianapolis, then the nether region of the state, which hosted the revival of the Ku Klux Klan in the twenties.

Enjoy this sample of Cat’s writing and want more of it on a weekly basis, along with insights into process, recipes, photos of Taco Cat, chances to ask Cat (or Taco) questions, discounts on and news of new classes, and more? Support her on Patreon.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get Fiction in Your Mailbox Each Month

Want access to a lively community of writers and readers, free writing classes, co-working sessions, special speakers, weekly writing games, random pictures and MORE for as little as $2? Check out Cat’s Patreon campaign.

Want to get some new fiction? Support my Patreon campaign.
Want to get some new fiction? Support my Patreon campaign.

 

"(On the writing F&SF workshop) Wanted to crow and say thanks: the first story I wrote after taking your class was my very first sale. Coincidence? nah….thanks so much."

~K. Richardson

You may also like...

How to Critique: Best Practices for Workshopping

Abstract image to accompany blog post about critiquing stories by speculative fiction writer Cat Rambo.
If you're interested in getting your stories workshopped, click on this picture in order to find out more about My Writing Fantasy & Science Fiction Stories online class. There's also an Advanced Workshop, as well as classes focusing on individual aspects of writing, like description, characters, and fleshing out stories.
Both my Writing F&SF Stories and Advanced workshops offer students a chance to critique and be critiqued. To my mind, the latter is actually more useful, because being forced to articulate one’s position on an aspect of writing can be enlightening and instructive. With that in mind, here’s some best practices for such workshops.

Overall:

  1. Start with what works. Let the writer know what you see as the story’s strengths and how they might capitalize on them.
  2. What keeps you from connecting with the story? What don’t you understand? Sometimes the most useful thing you can give someone is a brief synopsis of what you think is going on in the story, because it may not match their intent.
  3. Critique big ticket items, not little nitpicks.
  4. It’s more important to point out what’s broken than to make suggestions how to fix it, because that fix will differ radically from writer to writer.
  5. How do the beginning and ending work together to create a satisfying story? Is the story that’s provided the one the one promised in the beginning? Is the ending set up in a satisfying way? Is it the result of character actions?
  6. What’s missing? What don’t you understand?
  7. What seems extraneous, unneeded or distracting?
  8. What’s the pacing like? Where does the story drag and where does it skip too quickly through details?
  9. Where are the info-dumps and how can that information be spread out?
  10. How well does the title work? If not well, what possible better titles can be drawn from the story?

Characters:

  1. Are the characters likeable?
  2. Are the characters acting or reacting?
  3. Does the character have a point of identification with the reader, such as a problem, situation or want that both of them hold?
  4. Where can we go deeper into the character’s head? Does the reader know what the character wants? Where don’t we understand what the character is doing?
  5. Are there too many characters? Can any be combined?
  6. Is the dialogue interesting and informative of character?
  7. Is the point of view consistent?

World:

  1. Is the world clear? Does the reader know where they are?
  2. Does it feel generic? (Is it?) How can it be made more specific and evocative?
  3. Does it make sense?
  4. How important is the science of it? Are the facts right?
  5. Where should we know more?
  6. Where can the world come forward more?
  7. Where can more sensory detail be worked in?
  8. Is the culture interesting and also make sense?

Enjoy this writing advice and want more content like it? Check out the classes Cat gives via the Rambo Academy for Wayward Writers, which offers both on-demand and live online writing classes for fantasy and science fiction writers from Cat and other authors, including Ann Leckie, Seanan McGuire, Fran Wilde and other talents! All classes include three free slots.

Prefer to opt for weekly interaction, advice, opportunities to ask questions, and access to the Chez Rambo Discord community and critique group? Check out Cat’s Patreon. Or sample her writing here.

...

Checking In From Kansas

Hello from Garden City, Kansas, where I’m at what was once the Wheatlands motel, where Truman Capote stayed when he was writing In Cold Blood. I’m visiting cousins here — tomorrow we’ll head up to Lawrence (with a brief detour through Dodge) to see more cousins.

The trip’s been great so far. Lots to see and time with some awesome folks. Wayne’s cousins Patty and Pete provided us with wine and ammunition. David Boop put us up in style in Denver and had an awesome birthday dinner with plenty of great folks from the local writing community. We did Yellowstone and saw a ton of hot springs and an indifferent teen-age moose. In Hays, I took a picture of the placard for my grandfather, Alex Francis.

I’d go on further but the hotel internet has gone kablooey so I’m writing this in the Target parking lot while Wayne goes for Gatorade. More when we have reliable Internet!

...

Skip to content