Elgin identifies eight basic types of verbal violence and the modes for dealing with each one.This book changed my life. I read it in college, at a time when I was becoming aware of how much could be contained in language. It helped me deal with dysfunctional relationships and it provided strategies for dealing with verbal bullies that I still use on a regular basis. Elgin is also a science fiction writer that I highly recommend, including her book, Native Tongue. I still buy anything I see by Elgin, because I know I’ll end up giving it away.
What: The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense helps identify sneaky verbal attacks like back-handed compliments, insults disguised as jokes, and other jabs, as well as providing tactics for dealing with each other.
Who: Read this if you’ve ever felt bullied and didn’t know exactly why. Or if you’ve ever been accused of bullying someone in communication.
Why: Even if you feel totally in command of conversations, this book will help you write better dialogue by showing many of the constructions bullies use, as well as a better understanding of verbal interactions overall.
When: Read this when you’re at your wits end in dealing with a friend, colleague, or anyone else.
Where and how: Keep it handy for frequent reading. If you don’t understand what all the fuss is about, try working through the exercises.
Great suggestion, Cat. As a lawyer, I have no issue with responding to openly aggressive attacks. But I do struggle with those passive-aggressive, snide comments from “frenemies”. I always question how you respond to someone who doesn’t actually say what they are thinking and just implies it. I’ll check it out!
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You Should Read This: The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
Not the movie. No, that was an okay movie, but this book? It’s pure gold. It’s beautiful. It’s enchanting. You should read it.
What: The Last Unicorn is, as you would expect, the story of the last unicorn. She must find out what has happened to the other unicorns, aided by a fraudulent magician, a fierce butterfly, and a would-be Maid Marian. You’ve formed a story in your head from reading that last sentence. The book is nothing like that. It’s better.
Who: I do not think anyone should call themselves a fantasy writer that has not read this. I’m sure there are reasonable exceptions. But I’m not seeing any of them.
Why: Read this for characters that will tangle themselves up in your heart and never let go. Read it for Beagle’s skill with prose, the sly humor, the sheer beauty.
When: Don’t read this when you are feeling insecure about your own writing, because it will only make it more so. Read it for inspiration as well as entertainment.
Where and how: Copy passages out and try to figure out how Beagle DID that. How the butterfly enchants us in only a few sentences. How the Bull menaces in even less space. (Be aware that Beagle did write about some of these characters again; they appear in novelette “Two Hearts,” which I only see available in The Nebula Award Showcase 2008 and The Year’s Best Science Fiction, Volume 24.
From the introduction by Sally Beauman: "This is, at first sight, a very odd book: it has an exceedingly odd, indeed unlikely, heroine, the eponymous Miss Mole, and an exceedingly odd style."There are some books I go back to over and over again, and this is one of them, because I love the main character so much. Hannah Mole is engaging, delightful, and incredibly sympathetic. I originally found this book because it was a Virago Modern Classic (I found a TON of great reading through Virago, many of which will appear in weeks, months, and hopefully years to come), and it is, unfortunately, out of print nowadays. I sincerely hope it’s reissued sometime.
What: Miss Mole is a novel that won the James Tait Black Memorial Prize in 1930. It is set in Radstowe and is, in many ways, a small town novel of manners.
Who: Read this if you love absorbing fiction that deals with small things: not wars or aliens or other monumental matters, but rather cases of crewel yarn gone astray or a pilfered mattress. Read this for characters that come alive and are exemplary of characters who are lovable while still shown with all their flaws.
When: Read this when you want an engrossing read, but also when you want to see the interior life and thoughts of a character conveyed in the most engaging way possible.
Why: Read it because Miss Mole is a heroine outside the norm, because she doesn’t care (or does she) what society says, and because she faces the consequences of past actions with bravery and good spirits.
Where and how: Read this on a rainy day, when you want a love story that is gentle and understated, on a day when you hear the characters’ murmuring in the sound of the falling rain.
2 Responses
Great suggestion, Cat. As a lawyer, I have no issue with responding to openly aggressive attacks. But I do struggle with those passive-aggressive, snide comments from “frenemies”. I always question how you respond to someone who doesn’t actually say what they are thinking and just implies it. I’ll check it out!
It is such a USEFUL book.