Elgin identifies eight basic types of verbal violence and the modes for dealing with each one.This book changed my life. I read it in college, at a time when I was becoming aware of how much could be contained in language. It helped me deal with dysfunctional relationships and it provided strategies for dealing with verbal bullies that I still use on a regular basis. Elgin is also a science fiction writer that I highly recommend, including her book, Native Tongue. I still buy anything I see by Elgin, because I know I’ll end up giving it away.
What: The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense helps identify sneaky verbal attacks like back-handed compliments, insults disguised as jokes, and other jabs, as well as providing tactics for dealing with each other.
Who: Read this if you’ve ever felt bullied and didn’t know exactly why. Or if you’ve ever been accused of bullying someone in communication.
Why: Even if you feel totally in command of conversations, this book will help you write better dialogue by showing many of the constructions bullies use, as well as a better understanding of verbal interactions overall.
When: Read this when you’re at your wits end in dealing with a friend, colleague, or anyone else.
Where and how: Keep it handy for frequent reading. If you don’t understand what all the fuss is about, try working through the exercises.
Great suggestion, Cat. As a lawyer, I have no issue with responding to openly aggressive attacks. But I do struggle with those passive-aggressive, snide comments from “frenemies”. I always question how you respond to someone who doesn’t actually say what they are thinking and just implies it. I’ll check it out!
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What: A group of rabbits whose warren is destroyed by the bulldozers of a housing development try to find a new place to live, despite various pitfalls and traps along the way.
Who: Anyone who loves animals will love this book, and any writer interested in writing epic journeys as well as non human protagonists will find an analysis of the rabbits’ trek an instructive one.
When: Read this for immersion or when you want to share a saga with your children.
Why: Read it to see how well Adams has worked out rabbit soceity, including a vocabulary full of rabbity concepts like tharn and fabulous phoneticisms like hrududu. Read it to see the rabbit mythology and listen to the folktales told among the rabbits, very much in the same tradition as Kij Johnson’s The evolution of trickster stories among the dogs of North park after the change.
Where/how: Read it on a summer afternoon, preferably one when you can see a young rabbit or two frisking on the lawn, flicking their long ears back as they eye you whenever you flip a page.
You Should Read This: The Dictionary. Any Dictionary.
The narrower the definition of a word, the more likely it is to delight me.I love the dictionary. I have, in fact, been known to dip into it for pleasure, to swoon with delight at a new word like lacustrine or neritic. When I was in grad school, we played a version of Balderdash that far predated the boxed set, using an American Heritage dictionary that still sits on my shelf.
What: Any book of words that tells you what’s built into them, whether it’s a dictionary of hobby-related vocabularies or a more complete overview. I’ve got a shelf’s worth of them, including a number of foreign language dictionaries and the beloved Compact edition of the OED my brother gave me one year.
Who: If you are someone who uses words, and want to make sure you are using them correctly, use a dictionary. A while back while I was teaching at Hopkins, a student handed in a piece that was unsettling in a way I’d never encountered before, consistently misusing words. When we talked about it, she revealed she’d written the piece and then used a thesaurus “to make the words fancier.”
Why: If you are going to write, you must know how to use words. They are the basic building block of the trade. Read the dictionary in order to use them with rigorous precision, an appreciation for their history, and an understanding of their grammatical use.
When: All the time. On your phone. While waiting for your bus. When you want to refill your tank of words.
Where and how: The deeper the dictionary, the more interest it holds for me. I like specialized dictionaries that list fashion terms or kinds of birds or words taken from other languages.
2 Responses
Great suggestion, Cat. As a lawyer, I have no issue with responding to openly aggressive attacks. But I do struggle with those passive-aggressive, snide comments from “frenemies”. I always question how you respond to someone who doesn’t actually say what they are thinking and just implies it. I’ll check it out!
It is such a USEFUL book.