Elgin identifies eight basic types of verbal violence and the modes for dealing with each one.This book changed my life. I read it in college, at a time when I was becoming aware of how much could be contained in language. It helped me deal with dysfunctional relationships and it provided strategies for dealing with verbal bullies that I still use on a regular basis. Elgin is also a science fiction writer that I highly recommend, including her book, Native Tongue. I still buy anything I see by Elgin, because I know I’ll end up giving it away.
What: The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense helps identify sneaky verbal attacks like back-handed compliments, insults disguised as jokes, and other jabs, as well as providing tactics for dealing with each other.
Who: Read this if you’ve ever felt bullied and didn’t know exactly why. Or if you’ve ever been accused of bullying someone in communication.
Why: Even if you feel totally in command of conversations, this book will help you write better dialogue by showing many of the constructions bullies use, as well as a better understanding of verbal interactions overall.
When: Read this when you’re at your wits end in dealing with a friend, colleague, or anyone else.
Where and how: Keep it handy for frequent reading. If you don’t understand what all the fuss is about, try working through the exercises.
Great suggestion, Cat. As a lawyer, I have no issue with responding to openly aggressive attacks. But I do struggle with those passive-aggressive, snide comments from “frenemies”. I always question how you respond to someone who doesn’t actually say what they are thinking and just implies it. I’ll check it out!
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If you haven’t heard of it, here is the description from the Amazon listing:
This all-new definitive guide to writing imaginative fiction takes a completely novel approach and fully exploits the visual nature of fantasy through original drawings, maps, renderings, and exercises to create a spectacularly beautiful and inspiring object. Employing an accessible, example-rich approach, Wonderbook energizes and motivates while also providing practical, nuts-and-bolts information needed to improve as a writer. Aimed at aspiring and intermediate-level writers, Wonderbook includes helpful sidebars and essays from some of the biggest names in fantasy today, such as George R. R. Martin, Lev Grossman, Neil Gaiman, Michael Moorcock, Catherynne M. Valente, and Karen Joy Fowler, to name a few.
It’s a freaking GORGEOUS book (to the point where I’m surprised by the relatively low price, given how glossy it is). I spent some of last night flipping through and being delighted. I’m looking forward to a more careful read. Highly recommended.
You Should Read This: Doctor Rat by William Kotzwinkle
The newer books have a different cover, but this has always been my favorite version.Doctor Rat is a cunningly well constructed, heartwrenching, horrible wonderful book told from the point of view of an insane rat, thereby reinforcing my theory that odd povs may add to, rather than detract from, good fiction. Be aware: this is a novel about animal experimentation and it pulls no punches.
Doctor Rat witnesses the experiments being carried out on his fellow animals, wandering through a laboratory and speaking to us in a way that makes it clear whose side he’s on while showing how brutal the details of this book can be:
I should now like to sing “Three Blind Rats.” It’s part of the experimental program of music that’s being channeled toward certain rats, to make them more docile and sweet. Several of them are indeed beginning to nuzzle up to each other, one of them even executing a light-fantastic tripping of his tail, in time to the beat.
In the cage beside him, we actually have three blind rats. In fact, we have twenty-three blind rats, part of a magnificent new experiment initiated by a very ambitious student, who I’m featuring in this month’s Newsletter. He’s a sensitive chap and it was his exquisite sensitivity that caused him to dream up the item that’s become the latest rage here at the lab: the fabulous removal of eggs from a female rat’s body and the grafting of them to different parts of the male rat’s body — to the tail, to the ear, to the stomach. And for the past twenty-three days he’s been grafting them to their eyeballs! So now it’s time we all sang that promising young scientist a song.
Doctor Rat is not all horrifying detail though. There’s a lot of sweetness to it, including a moment where a human orchestra plays music in order to warn whales of approaching whalers that makes me cry, every time, while read silently or aloud. The amount of emotion it manages to stir in me is visceral. I wish I knew how Kotzwinkle accomplished it.
Which brings me to another reason by I think this is a good book for writers to read: this is a book that manages to be harrowing and uplifting all at once. It’s the sort of book that a writer confronting a real evil produces, a look that is cynical and despairing and yet tinged with a dark humor that lets you know there may be a glint of light somewhere. This is the sort of book you should read through once in order to experience it for the first time; then go back and see how the writer accomplished that experience. Doctor Rat looks at difficult, political things in a way only the greats manage.
Kotzwinkle is still around and is a prolific of both adult and children’s books. The child in me is compelled to note that the latter includes the “Walter the Farting Dog” series.
2 Responses
Great suggestion, Cat. As a lawyer, I have no issue with responding to openly aggressive attacks. But I do struggle with those passive-aggressive, snide comments from “frenemies”. I always question how you respond to someone who doesn’t actually say what they are thinking and just implies it. I’ll check it out!
It is such a USEFUL book.