Opinion: Chan Culture and Good-Faith Arguments

I’ve updated my book, Creating an Online Presence, and it’s part of this terrific Storybundle of writing books. Since the Internet moves at the speed of an animated gif with Yakety Sax as the background music, I had a lot of work to do with the update (like checking every link to make sure it was up to date), and it included adding a few essays. Here’s one of those additions, talking about how you present yourself online.

Your Online Persona

One of the things I emphasize in the Creating an Online Presence for Writers live class is that before you start setting up your website and social media, you need to think about some things. What level of personal detail are you willing to give out on the Internet? What side of yourself do you want to reflect? How can you be both professional and approachable at the same time?

And perhaps the most important question: how do you go about being someone who people want to spend a little time with, whose words they want to read and consider, lingering on your webpage rather than clicking away to some more entertaining section of the Internet?

Let’s think about a real life situation: parties. A person’s choice of reading material is like a party they’re creating, inviting different voices and entertainment in order to assemble a pleasant and entertaining medley. If you’ve got a choice, do you invite the braggart to your party? The weepy incoherent girl? The dude who makes every conversation about himself? The preachy lady from down the street? No, and no, and no, and no.

Here’s some ways you can create a bad impression that makes people want to close the door in your virtual face.

Spamming about Spamming

I know, I know, we’re all brought up to believe that it was spam, not lead pipes, that brought about the fall of the Roman Empire, and it’s been causing social ills and woes ever since. We all hate spam. And we hate being thought of as spammers too.

Which brings me to what I’ll call “social spam.” Not some nameless person somewhere on the Internets trying to get you to buy Viagra. Nope, it’s your Uncle Edith, and he wants you to come work his farm in Farmville. Or your buddy Big Burt has tagged you in one of those silly memes where your friendslist gets translated to show which character each friend would be if they were a pie filling. Are either of them doing it because they want to harass you? Probably not.

So what to do if you want to avoid that spam?

Well, first let’s consider the notion that people who, in real life, spend a lot of their time correcting other people are probably not as popular as they could be. And let’s think about whether or not that carries over to virtual life.

Here’s a hint. It does.

Let’s factor in something else. A certain amount of spam is unavoidable. If you post something loud and shouty and ANTI-FARMVILLE on your Facebook page, it may cut down on the Farmville requests. For a while. And then some Farmville player’s going to come along who hasn’t seen it.

So perhaps rather than excoriate the players, disable the game so it can’t send you requests? That’s what I’ve learned to do, and when a new game pops up, I don’t spend time upbraiding my friends for being silly enough to invite me to play a game. I do get invites whenever some new game is popular. I used to get annoyed, now I just ignore.

If someone tags you in a meme, just don’t respond. No one’s forcing you to play. But don’t go further and be a jerk about it and scold them, particularly publicly. If someone tagged you, it’s because they thought you might be interested or enjoy it. It’s as though, in a real life party, someone offered you a mint and you started yelling at them for pushing sweets on you because you’re trying to avoid candy.

Vaguebooking

It’s just…ugh. Just don’t. First and foremost, it makes you look childish, and melodramatic. So often it’s passive aggressive BS and the only person who cares is (sometimes) the person you’re committing it to, which is just petty. Come on. Get out of the high school mentality. For everyone else, it’s like being around that couple that keeps fighting and pretending they’re not.

Beyond that, it makes you look horribly unprofessional, particularly when you’re doing it about an employer, past or present. Yes, you are being funny and entertaining right now. You are also saying to anyone who might want to hire you and that looks at your social media presence — increasingly common with employers — that you will be doing this about them as well.

We have all yielded to this temptation at times. Avoiding it is a habit I continue to work on, because every time I’ve done it I find myself regretting it later.

Setting Other People Straight

Is someone saying something wrong on the Internet? Probably.

Does it matter? Probably not.

If it does, and you have the bandwidth and the energy, more power to you.

Pooping on Other People’s Passions

I know, I know. Everyone else is saying how hot and innovative that new show about the Emperor’s clothes is, but you’ve got the skinny. But maybe hang on a moment before you start letting them know what fools they are.

Do you remember when your grandparent said, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all?” Yeah. They were right about a lot of other stuff too.

It’s okay for other people to like things that you don’t, maybe even love them or otherwise find value that you just don’t see. It is. It really is. Nascar, for example, still exists, much to my bemusement. And that’s okay.

You Are Only a Small Part of the Universe

A wonderful one, to be sure. but one that does not exist for most people. Don’t assume slights are deliberate or that your perception matches up with the other’s. I find that giving other people the benefit of the doubt goes a long way. Such a very long way.

The Perils of Pontification

It is pleasant to be the authority, to hold forth on something you know well, and to have everyone listening. It is okay to do every once in a while. But if that soapbox is something you rarely descend from, rather than something you rarely hop up on, think about your strategy. It’s good to listen; it’s great to solicit opinions (and listen to them). Remember that good communication is a two-way street.

Along the same lines, don’t be afraid to admit when you screw up. It’s part of being human, and it’s better form than blustering or emitting a cloud of excuses and half-truths. Pretending you didn’t make a mistake when you did is not a good strategy usually. Own up and say what you’re going to do in the future to avoid making the same mistake. If it’s something you can fix, fix it. Don’t pretend that it never happened.

Conclusions
In short, you have some measure of control over how you are perceived on the Internet. Act the way you wish other people would act and you have a much better chance of influencing them than by bluster, mockery, or other attacks.

And finally — no one is ever looking as closely at you as you think they are. We are all the center of our particular universe, and that’s always, inevitably, inarguably going to shape your perceptions. If you keep that in mind, it makes dealing with your fellow humans a little easier.

At least, that’s the opinion of one of your fellow humans. Be well and prosper.

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#sfwapro

When I first advertised that I’d be teaching an online writing class, Todd Vandermark, the tireless editor of the SFWA blog, mailed me asking if I’d write a blog post about it. Sure, I said — only let me do it first so I have something to write about. I’m two thirds of the way through, and now I’ve got something to say, finally. 🙂

I love teaching online. I feel that I’m connecting with the students in a more meaningful and interesting way than in a once a week, face to face classroom. Through Google+, I can have a channel that is dedicated to the students, which means we’re talking and passing links back and forth throughout the week.

I use Google Hangouts. They are awesome. If you’re never tried them, here’s some basic information. I create a circle for each class, and another that is the students from all classes, and use those. I share the class circle with the class, so they have it as well, and can post to it. If you’re utterly confused by what I’m talking about when I say “circle,” this may be helpful. When I am ready for to a class to start, I open up a Google hangout and share it with the class circle.

The video is smooth in a way that makes me feel that I’m actually in the 21st century. It’s much lower key than I thought it would – after you’ve done it once, some of the nervousness fades away, and it doesn’t feel as though you’re “on stage” in the way one is when in the classroom. There’s been some adjustments with mikes and such, but one thing I did beforehand was have a “dry run” session, where people could log in and confirm that everything was working fine for them. A couple of times we had people participating with audio only — that worked fine. The format also means that people have been able to attend class while on the road – I just finished a session where one participant was logged on from the train station.

Google Hangouts includes a chat window, which I love, because while I’m lecturing, students can be typing questions, comments, and other feedback into the chat, which allows me to then look at it and incorporate it into the flow of the lecture. Instead of writing on the board, I can put things that are particularly important into the chat window. Google+ also allows people to share their work with the group through it, rather than sending out stories to be workshopped via e-mail.

The capability for watching Youtube videos as part of class is there, which is nice, but given the limited amount of time we have in class, I’d rather not use it on that for the most part. Still, I could see using some pieces in class instead of assigning them to be watched outside of it. Here’s some examples of ones I think would work well: Kurt Vonnegut on the shapes of stories, Terry Bisson’s “They’re Made Out of Meat,” Jack Kerouac on writing.

Things that I have learned:

• Do a dry run beforehand, so everyone can see the technology in action and iron out any problems. I simply set up a hangout one night the week before the class and had people stop in to confirm they could log in successfully. This was also a nice, low-key way to chat with students beforehand about what they were hoping to get out of the class.
• Don’t wait till the last minute to get things set up, because then there will be some microphone issue requiring a reboot.
• Have people mute microphones when they’re not using them.
• Feed the cats beforehand or else resign yourself to them crawling over you throughout the course of lecture. (May also apply to children and spouses.)
• Ask questions beforehand. In prepping a lecture, more than once I’ve asked what questions people have about the topic on a social network and been able to use the answers as part of the lecture.
• Be organized. Have your lecture prepared and mapped out ahead of time. I’ve always done this in teaching, but it feels even more crucial when doing it online.
• Time expands and contracts according to the number of students. A class with a lot of student will take more time than the section with just a few, so have some back-up exercises that can be inserted into the lecture for that occasion. My notes say what point in time I am supposed to reach each section, so as I go, I can see if I’m running early/late and slow down or speed up accordingly.
• No matter how carefully you plan, there will be at least one class where you find yourself at the end too early.
• Remember that time zones differ. I have one session that meets early to accomodate the East Coasters, another that holds most of my West Coasters, and a Saturday that ranges all over the map. Next session I’ve got someone who’ll be attending at 1 a.m. his time, which I think speaks volumes for the lack of availability of such classes internationally.
• It’s not for everyone. A few find the format anxiety-producing. But once you’ve tried it, it’s a lot smoother and easier than you might suspect, and god know videochatting’s not a trend that is going to go away so you might as well learn how to do.

I’m hoping to make the classes a regular part of how I make my income, and I still need some sign-ups for the upcoming batch, so I’m going to extend the special rate through midnight mext Friday. Here’s the details for those classes – please spread the word!